02.22.07
#1001
Reason # 1001 I miss my mother
she sent this to The Weasel (Libélula) when she went to New Zealand:
02.02.07
Mom
But it was almost fun. Distracting like what I am, a little girl going through mommy’s closet.
But if I think at all about what Mom being gone means, what it really means, all the things I won’t be able to tell her, all the things in our lives she’s going to miss–how will I endure a pregnancy without missing her every minute, every day, every developmental month, wanting to know, “was it like this for you? How was it with you when you–? What did it mean? Is this normal?” How am I going to look at a child of mine without seeing my mother? I want this pain to go away. The rational part of me knows it will. With time. But when I opened the door to our dryer and found the identical twin to the shirt Nick had held up as a prime example of Momfashion, I sobbed like an idiot in our cramped spider-filled laundry room.
I can’t write anymore tonight, but of course there’s always more to say. Slow Central American post means we are now receiving postcards we sent to her here. As I cleaned out her bedroom drawers I found she saved all the postcards I sent her before, so I guess I will just put them with those. I wish we’d called her, there were so many silly and trivial things we could have talked about. I don’t even want another conversation to have a heavy conversation, I’ll settle for our usual fluffy topic of “how weird are the dogs being today?”
When we go to Mom’s apartment as we’re unlocking the door the dogs wag their tails like Grandma’s going to be sitting on the couch with a book and a glass of wine, just on the other side of the door, but they’ve stopped checking the apartment for her. In that moment between unlocking and unlocked doors where we believe we’ll see her, where that feeling is so strong, I want to live in that moment.
But life goes on and we can’t.
Mom I miss you so much.
12.29.06
Blogs I forget I love
I’m so dependent on bloglines now, it seems that if you don’t have an rss feed, I won’t remember to read you (I don’t use my own sidebar! horrors!) even if I always love what you have to say. Once upon a time, this comment might have been addressed to Terri. But now she has a real blog! Yay for not having a fake blog any more! ;p
Anyway, there are definitely blogs I check as soon as I see they’ve updated, Heidi’s, Lauren’s, Nancy’s, Amys, Lori’s, Crissy’s, Melissa’s, Cari and the Amazing Thumper’s, LoriO’s, Cecilia’s, Jen/La’s, Jessica’s, Susan’s (who unfortunately has been lost from blogland lately to real work and pampered chefdom, Ande’s, the aforementioned Terri’s, Hilari’s, Mary-Kay’s, Minou’s, Brooke’s, Stephanie’s, Allison’s, Eunny’s, Kirsten’s, Felicia’s, Andrea’s (beautiful photos, beautiful hardwon Ben), Monica’s, June’s, Iris’s, Vera’s, Paula’s, Mandy’s, and MJ’s.
And then there are the ones I see and skip until they are the dregs of boredom and realise…oh yeah! That’s why I added this!
For example, the “five hour erection” of BLDBLOG and Mimi Smartypants with her guard llamas of the underpants drawer (defends against underpants gnomes!) Why do I forget how interesting I find these blogs?
And the sadistic perverseness of Girls Are Pretty!
Updated to add: And why do I forget Cara at January One?
I love all her header images and the random surprise, they’re always new to me. And such great works, not just knitting.
What’s the point of this post? I don’t know!
I’m gathering up UFOs for a goals post, skeining up yarns, and savoring every second with the Pomona/Angelina.
BTW, I guess our dog beach post was somehow marked “private” before. I don’t know how that happened, and if that means you all couldn’t see it before, or just couldn’t comment, but in case you couldn’t see it–check out Tahoe’s impossible floppiness in the frisbee catch pic. It’s a crazy pic that Nick took.
12.25.06
Palm Sunday
Wait, wrong holiday?
The “benefit” of sharing our house with wee four legged savages is the occasional surreal treat of stepping on an eyeball in the fog of a groggy morn. It was startling realistic at 0530 in the morning peeking from between my toes.
I believe it came from one of the many mangled stuffed toys around here. If I find the poor thing, I’ll make it an eyepatch.
No, probably not.
On a cute, not creepy note:
A wee short row toe, which became quite shortly thereafter
A ridiculous pair of baby socks in one of my tidepool colorways, with a ruffle like a sea anenome.
They look very goofy and very Dr. Suessish-shaped, because of the ribbing pulling it in at the arch and ankles–I wanted them to be unkickoffable. The sole of the foot looks like a peanut because of this, with the short row toe and the short row heel and the ribbing in between.
I used some store bought baby socks as a sizing guide, the feet measure 4 inches long, with a circumference of 3.5 inches, although the ribbing flexes them out to wider.
I used 22 grams of sportweight yarn (Louet Gems Opal, 1,024 yds/lb). About 50 yards of yarn if my math is right…so definitely something to eat up the leftovers…
So, it’s not so much a pattern as a recipe, if you’d like it here’s the pdf. The short row toe hoopla takes up most of the space, but don’t let that turn you off a short row toe. Seriously: favorite.sock.method.ever.
I also made the short row toe thing a pdf so it would be printable without all the other crud of my blog on it. It is here.
BTW–this post was composed and posted using a plug-in I was twigged to by KnitSteph. The editor is awesome and I can set my categories from here. Freaking cool. Go Mozilla!
Merry Christmas & Happy Monday!
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